remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize