let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
