Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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