2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
So much Jack, so little girl.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
