The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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