bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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