We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
