why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
