Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
