I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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