it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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