its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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