i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
