I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
