Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
