ya dads aren't the best wingmen
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
