Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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