Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
