What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
