So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
