what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
