AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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