u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize