i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
