do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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