If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
