We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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