ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
The Olympian is in my bed
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
