My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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