Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
