2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
