addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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