My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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