I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
there was a trapeze. enough said
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
