Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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