I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
