Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
