didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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