My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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