what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Randomize
