i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
