3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize