ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
