Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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