I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
