We're facebook friends in real life
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
