So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Let's get the cat blown out
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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