My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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