First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize