Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
