I smell stomach acid.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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