i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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