I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
