I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
