I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I need a hoe opinion
go on
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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