Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
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