she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
