"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
