i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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