Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Randomize
