Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
