She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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