i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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