hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
