Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
